It's Been a Long Time

Sometimes you think you have stepped off of a roller coaster. You feel like you've gained knowledge and you start to move on. Then, you find you've either only been coasting on the deceptively smooth part of the same ride or that you've actually stumbled onto another roller coaster.

I have lost a few people recently.

Now, two of my close relatives are in extremely poor health. Both were in ICU but in different states. A few days ago, both seemed to be making great strides. Then things turned.

Now, we've been told it will take a miracle to save one of them. They had to put her in a medically induced coma. Now her kidneys are shutting down, and...

I sit with regrets of not communicating with her more because I don't know what will happen from here and it truly doesn't look good. I know that she knows I love her. I just wish I had told her more often because the chance to tell her again may gone. While she lives on the West Coast and I on the East Coast, as children we once lived in the same house.

Sometimes I feel like I need another me to get done all the things I need to do, to see all the people I need to see, to give love and support to all the people that mean so much to me. I am but a broken vessel, myself.

I feel somewhat lost.

I'll get it together, though.